Sideshow: Sheen knows his son's 'hell'

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Charlie Sheen's bro Emilio Estevez and pa, Martin Sheen, tell London rag Telegraph they are at a loss to explain Charlie's recent off-the-wall behavior, which includes a drugs 'n' booze relapse and a strange, almost maniacal recovery. Martin, 70, who has had his own epic battle with addiction, says faith can restore the light.

"Addiction is the dark side. It's a reflection of despair. And it's fed by all the other negativity," the devout Catholic says. He adds, "You know, Charlie's 45 years old. He's not a kid. Emotionally he still is. Because when you're addicted, you don't grow emotionally. . . . You're emotionally crippled." Yet Martin, who says he had one of many "psychotic episodes" on camera in the opening scene of Apocalypse Now, feels for his son. "I know what hell he's living in." Brother Emilio, 48 (there are two other siblings, Ramon and Renée), is surprised Charlie has had more problems than the rest of the family. "We all had the same set of rules," he says.
Lauper sings of healing in Japan "The strength and dignity of the people here have been inspiring." So writes re-ascendant '80s pop star Cyndi Lauper on Twitter about the people of Japan, which was hit by a magnitude 9.0 earthquake.

Lauper, who was on tour in Japan when the disaster struck on March 11, has vowed to continue her tour to help cure the nation's ills "through the healing power of their music," to put it in USA Today's terms.

Lauper plans to do charity events on radio and TV and will donate to the Japanese Red Cross all royalties earned in-country by her new CD, Memphis Blues.


Hagar: Aliens were plugged into me So says rocker Sammy Hagar about his experience as an alien abductee. Seriously.

Hagar, 63, who is doing the promo rounds for his memoirs, Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock, tells MTV Hive.com he was abducted by aliens. "It was real. [Aliens] were plugged into me," the former Van Halen singer says. "It was a download situation. This was long before computers or any kind of wireless. . . . it was like ... 'They downloaded something into me!' Or they uploaded something."


Love, the Tiger blood way . . . Disgraced golfer turned recovering sex addict Tiger Woods may be in for a shock: His alleged new gf Alyse Lahti Johnston, 22, isn't head-over-heels in love with him.

RadarOnline cites an Anon Source who says Alyse doesn't "consider herself Tiger's girlfriend. They were just having a good time hooking up."

Will this revelation break Tiger's heart?

Meanwhile, former Tiger mistress Rachel Uchitel has completed a (no-doubt rigorous) training program to become a private investigator, says Radar (via Gawker.com).

Rachel, who committed adultery with Tiger (he was then still married to Elin Nordegren), reportedly wants to specialize in investigating "cheating spouses."


Love in all its splendour . . . Eddie Cibrian's fiancee LeAnn Rimes, 28, and his ex-wife, Brandi Glanville, 39, who have been enmeshed in an ugly public feud for two years, have called a truce. Their war began when it was revealed that Cibrian, 37, and Rimes had hooked up while the dude was still married to Glanville.

"As a collective unit, Brandi and I would like all negativity to cease toward one another," Rimes says in a tweet signed by both women.

Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown and her hubby, music producer Stephen Belafonte, both 35, tell Hello! mag they are expecting their first baby together this summer. Mel already has two daughters, Phoenix, 12, and Angel Iris, 3. Stephen has one, Giselle, 6.

E!Online's James Joyce-meets-Joan Rivers stream-of-toasted-consciousness gossiper Ted Casablanca says that oddest nouveau couple of all, Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson, "are still going strong!" TC says the duo, who reportedly have been dating since January, were very flirty over dinner Saturday at an eatery in West Hollywood.


Jennifer Lopez: Pamper me! Pulitzer-worthy investigative news journal National Enquirer reveals that Jennifer Lopez undergoes a shockingly intricate regimen to make herself pretty for American Idol viewers. Anon Sources say that to film two days of Idol auditions, J.Lo required "12 racks for her wardrobe changes, 20 mirrors, and a ton of spotlights for her makeup team. There were around 50 people in her villa dealing with makeup, hair, and wardrobe." Ironically, the Enquirer adds, J.Lo "wore only two outfits during the entire two days."


The joy of entertainment business After facing about half a million crises, production delays, and other bad joujou, the J.R.R. Tolkien prequel The Hobbit finally has begun shooting under helmer Peter Jackson, Variety says. . . . CBS will air the Daytime Emmy Awards on June 19, Variety reports. The kudosfest tanked in the ratings when it was on the CW in '09. Last year, it drew 2.9 mil viewers on CBS. . . . Ashton Kutcher, celeb face of Popchips snack-food company, has hired Diane Mizota, who hosts the GSN series Bingo America, to help him hype the brand.


The joy of being Miley Cyrus This week belongs to Miley Cyrus.

First up: E!Online reports that Billy Ray Cyrus' girl - whose witchy powers may have caused the collapse of the Cyrus clan - has made a "triumphant" return to Twitter. Miley, 18, unplugged from the 140-character insipido-service (which turned 5 on Monday) in October '09 because then-beau Liam Hemsworth didn't like it. Will her then-2,119,677 followers be back?

E! also says the Hannah Montana alum is finally releasing her duet with Bret Michaels on headbanger Poison's heartwarming song "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." It's due in May. Last but not least, Miley says on her website that she will launch an international tour in Quito, Ecuador, on April 29.


The (freaky) joy of being Charlie Sheen Charlie Sheen, who already has launched a concert tour, is sooo wanted by the great unwashed, network execs are scrambling to offer him new TV shows.

RadarOnline claims CBS boss Les Moonves is working hard to get Charlie back on Two and a Half Men - mere days after the actor was fired. Meanwhile, TMZ says Fox is courting Chas to develop a spate of new shows, and to host a late-night talk show.

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